Friends – how many do you have? You’ve got colleagues, neighbours, people you went to school or studied with, people you do activities with, people you go drinking with, those you go out to dinner with but what makes any of these people someone you’d really consider to be your friend? Do you have the same definition of ‘friend’ as someone else you might consider a friend? Do you both have the same needs and expectations?

Sometimes, just because you’ve been friends for a long time, doesn’t mean you need to continue to be friends. Do your friends make you feel good about yourself? Do they help you celebrate your achievements and provide an ear or shoulder when you’re down? Is kindness, thoughtfulness and generosity shown – or is the balance perhaps (more than) slightly skewed one way?

Yes, it’s important to be kind and important to show generosity. It’s also important to realise that some people mistake kindness for weakness. On balance, friendships should enrich both of your lives in an energetic way rather than leave you feeling depleted as if your friendship were a chore or competition.

Good friendships are important, always. Kindness, respect, generosity, reciprocity, balance are key ingredients. As we arrive into December and rush towards the ending of the year that has been 2020 it’s worth reviewing your connections. Which do you value? Which could you value more? Which could you actually do with ending?

Taking care of yourself requires self-reflection and making improvements. That can mean needing to create new boundaries for yourself and concentrating more attention on healthier friendships. That may involve making new connections, appreciating current ones or maybe even rekindling old friendships that meant something but fell by the wayside over time. Reminisce, remember and celebrate – for auld lang syne … ! Welcome in a stronger and happier you.