Compromise is about balance, not about ‘giving in’. What’s the difference? Compromise is gaining something with a small concession; giving in doesn’t include any real gain. With relationships you may have the belief that you ‘can’t have everything’ or ‘relationships need work’ or ‘relationships are never perfect’ – which is true but like compromise, on par there should definitely be far more gain than concession.

The qualities a lot of people want from their main relationships include safety, feeling good about themselves with the other person, trust, openness, closeness, similar personal values and support. They tend to be the foundations of happy relationships that people do not compromise on. The compromise comes more from the smaller details like not necessarily having common interests or maybe the same level of social refinement, worldly outlook or the physique you’d prefer.

If you’re finding yourself more often having arguments with your partner and needing to be the one to find ways to ‘keep the peace’, if you’re having to watch how you act based on your partner’s mood, if everyone else thinks your partner is great but your relationship just doesn’t fundamentally feel right or make you happy, then there’s probably more there for you to consider. If it’s you that’s feeling compromised, then it may be time for a re-negotiation.