It’s a new year and a popular time for people to make new year’s resolutions. Sometimes it’s half serious and half fun and usually not that original, are they? To lose weight, to exercise more, to eat more healthily, to get a better work/life balance, to drink less, to be kinder to myself, to find the relationship I deserve, to leave the relationship I don’t deserve. How often do we have the initial resolve to achieve these goals but inwardly we harbour deep doubts about actually being able to really do it? Why is that?

We acknowledge there is some sort of imbalance, otherwise why make resolutions at all? Well we tell ourselves we’re stuck in our ways, it’s too much effort or expense to do things differently, if only you had the time or less of this or more of that then you’d be able to achieve it. We make them too big and general and base our expectations on past performance. How many resolutions are the same as past year’s? How well did that actually go?

Break your resolutions down into smaller and more achievable goals. Look at them more contextually. When do you tend to put on more weight; tend to stop exercising; turn to less healthy food options or when does your work/life balance most often fall out of balance? Could your wants for improvements actually be related to your emotions: how you feel and your default go-to actions? About how you handle stress, boredom, anxiety, overwhelm, fear, lethargy, what other people think? Perhaps part of what you need to look into relating to your wants to make change is how you are in yourself. Take some time for self-reflection – and yes, this is where psychotherapy can help so you have the input from someone who is qualified to help you look at things from a different perspective. Change your resolutions from just talk and turn them into a walk.