I was listening an old Desert Island Discs podcast where Kirsty Young interviewed Miranda Hart. Miranda said that while she’s cast away on the desert island, she will structure her day and start by singing her school hymn. Her motto is to ‘Relax within a structure’. That phrase struck me for some reason and caused me to reflect on living life within limits. It led me to consider what is a common theme that clients bring, which is their struggle to find their place in life when an event or limit is placed on them. Within the restrictions, they want to not only find their place but take and own their space. 

We constantly limit ourselves. We carry so many expectations around with us based on need to fit in, belong, achieve, be successful, and have ‘enough’ but often we don’t stop to think about what exactly ‘enough’ is. There too are some who keep resetting the goal post so ‘enough’ is always out of reach resulting in that constantly emptying feeling that they should always be doing more but always feeling they’re failing and falling short. Do we really need to be the most popular, most liked, most interesting, most successful, most promoted, most energetic, most good looking? What is the measure, who is measuring and to what end? What do you give up in order to aim for that? Have you taken a moment to consider whether you really want to choose those limits for yourself and whether you want to continue taking them on? Have these expectations been handed to you by your family? By previous generations? By the socio-political or cultural environment within which you live?

The all encompassing (perhaps depressingly factual) limit of our lives is that our birth leads eventually to our death. Within that structure, time is always limited. What is it that brings meaning to your life? What is it that you live for? This need not be such a huge, overwhelming philanthropic goal like ending world hunger – though it very well could be! You can start smaller with the more easily achieved goals such making a difference in just one person’s life. It could be as simple asking someone with genuine interest how they are if they are looking upset. That one moment can make a huge difference in that person’s life.

You are the centre of the life you are living and your life only belongs to you. Within all of the pressures and expectations external to you and those you give yourself, give yourself permission to take time to appreciate, to feel satisfaction in even the smallest of things that you do. It’s so easy to always feel less than, it’s worth keeping that balance in check and more reflective of the truth. To someone else in any moment, you probably mean more to them than you realise. Be limitless and appreciate all of who you are and all that you do.