Disappointment always weighs heavily. When something or someone disappoints us we try to make sense of why it happened and invariably because we only have one side of the experience (ours), we look to ourselves for fault.

We feel cheated, taken for a fool, angry, let down, frustrated, annoyed, sad, and helpless. We think that somehow we didn’t try hard enough, that we should have seen it coming, that we were silly to have trusted or to have hoped (again?) in the first place. We think we could have avoided this outcome somehow, but we’re really too harsh on ourselves. Unfortunately we don’t have infinite control over things – in fact we have control over very little!

Disappointing, right?

It can be so easy to become hard, negative and cynical in the face of disappointment. These are the times where instead of adding up all of the other past negativities that have happened to result in the feeling that the world is unfair and punishing you and just stop. Put things into perspective. Realise that actually there really are many more good things, people and experiences in our lives than those actually few disappointments which we feel have hit so hard. It’s too easy to take feelings of disappointment and blow it all out of proportion.

Instead, it’s a good time to remember the times you’ve been pleasantly surprised, such as remembering moments of spontaneous connection with friends, family, and even strangers!

The people and experiences that bring smiles, warmth and light into your life. Remembering those moments and people where you have felt loved, appreciated and noticed. More often, become one of those people. Create more experiences where you bring a moment of joy into another’s life and pleasantly surprise them. Get in touch and make plans. Maybe pick a flower, take a chocolate, or even a piece of cake to brighten their day. Disappointments happen to good people; wonderful things happen to good people too.